Sugar Detoxing and New Beginings

Dear whoever you are,

Yes dear because everyone is dear, God thinks so and I believe He is right. Hello, how are you and how was your day? Isn't it nice when someone asks and then actually listens, cutting in only sometimes for clarification or not at all? And isn't it wonderful when they ask a really good question that makes you think a little but not totally stump you - because after all it was your day and pertains to you.

Those moments of comfort;

A hot cup of something, a sweet, insane rain and afternoon naps. Crunching leaves, warm sun on a crisp fall day, warming your face and causing you to smile. Snow falling outside, silent, magical, while you bake inside with loved ones and listen to your favorite music. Chocolate chip cookies, spiced apple cider or cold lemonade on a HOT summer day. A really satisfying workout, an amazing view at the top of that ridicules hike, the sound of your mother's voice, jumping in the puddles, not being too grown up to play, being grown up enough to eat what you want, when you want and not regretting it later because you didn't over do it. The strength of your father, the sounds of children laughing, swinging on the swings, the love of your partner that you will never be able to duplicate and you don't know why or how you got it.

Wonderful things, complex things or simple ones. Adult things. Stored up and memory things. Comfort, attachment, joy, health, things that cause your body and soul to sigh and relax.

I stopped writing, blogging, journaling (although I've never been very faithful to it), and being myself because of some intense body shaming that was given to me in a daily dose. I met my goal wouldn't you know, I lost those 50 lbs but someone was hurt by it because this person was still back there in +50 land and was miserable. I knew that misery, know that misery and I didn't help her. I let her shame me and tear me down and then I ate my way back up so it would stop. You know what, it did. I haven't heard a hurtful peep since. But I am miserable. I am heavy and tired, exhausted to be truthful, grumpy, unsatisfied and sadly - peering into the past at what I had at -50lbs.

Losing that weight was a miracle. I didn't know I could lose weight. It seemed so difficult, and then it wasn't and then I had done it.

The wonderful thing is that I have started this process again. I am 189.6 lbs this time around, my heaviest yet and it scared me. The reason I had first started this journey was to help my husband as well as become healthy for any babies we might have, the babies I look after for another and for myself (my physical, mental, emotional, spiritual self). Since I quit he's had a relapse that put him back a year in school, we had a miscarriage (totally normal apparently), caused my health to decline at an astounding rate and made me miserable. Failure and hurt, deep hurt are a nasty mix. It eats at you, tries to change you and twist you into something hateful and bitter. Well I'm not interested in hateful and bitter so I've forgiven and moved on and that includes myself.

You see I'm not blind, I know I ate the food that got me back here. I made the choice to revert to my old ways instead of confronting this friend and pulling my pain out so it could be healed. I stuffed it away and locked it up. I did that, nobody else.

So here I am a couple of years later and back up in the 180's and sugar detoxing. Did I mention the first time I did this how awful a detox is? You feel terrible, you have no energy, you have headaches, (sometimes) nausea, a terrible temper, you feel sleep deprived, and overall like you may be dyeing.

Here's the thing - there's hope and a lot of it! When you get past that phase, the death phase I'll call it, you wake up and don't even realize it's over. You start your day maybe with some anxiety, some dread, some snap, BUT you feel better so you don't totally lose it. By the middle of the day, when you're usually asleep on your feet, you realize you have a second wind kicking in and energy infusing into your normally, tired body. By the evening you get home and (high five) no headache, no nausea, no temper! You actually... FEEL GREAT! You feel awake, alert, more in the moment, present. You feel like you could clean your home, do something other than sit on the couch, maybe... GO FOR A WALK?!!!

This happens, after the death phase comes life. I'm talking amazing life. And the only difference is that you have survived the sugar detox. It only gets better (insert big grin). The weight will melt off, your toxins will leave your body, the energy grows naturally, you'll sleep better, feel better, be more stable emotionally, happier all around and more enjoyable to be with (wink).

So join me in healthy choices, whether you are just beginning, you're on your second, third or twentieth time around or if you haven't started yet. You can do this. I've done it before, I know it's possible, it's mine to reach out and grab. It's a choice, like anything else and I'm making it. You to can come with me and make these life changes, not being held back by fear, hate, selfishness, greed or your past. I will be supporting my husband once again by abstaining from sugar, starches, grains, and  dairy. I will be taking a multi vit each day and eating home made yogurt for my calcium intake (or sometimes drinking milk - I don't want osteoporosis and milk isn't a stumbling block for my hubby).

In fact I already have, I am two weeks in and feel great, and those pesky vitamins that I usually forget to consume - I take them when I remember (night or day I don't care) at least once in that 24 hour span.

So here's to new beginnings, being stronger than the first time, forgiveness and no shame. I'm proud to be me, to learn life's lessons and no give up or lose hope. I will dream and I will pursue those dreams and I will conquer!

Working Out - 5 days and counting

Everybody starts somewhere, so I made a decision, hopped on my treadmill and did just that.

Day 1 I ran 1 mile in 10 mins and 6 seconds. I lifted weights for my arms, added in squats and finished with sit ups done at various angles.

Day 2 was similar but with time shaved off of my mile as was day 3 and day 4 (I ran 1 mile in 9 mins and 28 seconds).

So today is day 5 and I ran 1.44 miles in 14 mins and 30 seconds.

It was hard, I was huffing and puffing. I ran at a 6.0 miles per hour pace the whole time. Needless to say I am making progress. It's small but it's there. I'm going for total body health, cardio, muscles, etc. I want a healthy body, organs and mind! I am excited and determined.

I'M AT MY PRE-MARRIAGE WEIGHT!

So I wanted to update really quickly by sharing that I am down to 143.6 lbs now. I'm so excited for that because I remember stepping on the scale a week before I got married and I weighed 143 lbs at that time too. It's been an exciting journey these past 5 months of changing what we eat and watching my body change because of that choice. I have officially lost 37 pounds, I started November 2012, and all I can say is that it's so sad how before I thought I could never lose the weight and that it would take so long to get it off. I believed that because it took me 2 years to put it all on that it would take even longer to get it off. I still have another 13 pounds to lose before I'm at my goal weight but I'm telling you that if I can do this so can you! I fully believe it 100%

Another exciting thing is a VEGAN dessert I stumbled upon, made and inhaled! It was "cheesecake" made from nuts! It tastes like cheesecake and is (was) so good! I will be posting the recipe soon and one for a chocolate carmel one too.

Eating in this way doesn't have to be restricted just different. It allows you and I to learn to cook with things we've never thought to try before and to experiment and relearn to make delicious dishes and desserts that are good for our bodies.

Thank you for continuing on this journey with me, I really appreciate it!
Laura

HE DIDN'T JUST CALL YOU FAT! (This is not the article you may think it is)

Are you hearing what is being said?

Okay ladies (and any gentlemen who read this) I'm about to get really honest. If you have a boyfriend, husband or male friend in your life (father, brother etc) that you care about their opinion DO NOT set them up for failure or bait them with loaded questions. It isn't fair! 

They get tongue tied, confused, nervous and most of the time will say the wrong answer because of what you are looking to hear. It's not them most of the time, it's you, me, us! 

As I gained an extra 40+ pounds I would ask my husband "Am I fat?" He would panic, swallow and say slowly "You have gained weight but you are still attractive to me." Then I would throw at him the "Do you think I need to lose weight?!" His reply would be "I think it would be good, yes."

Now before you get upset with him or take on any offense for me, listen to what he said. "1. You have gained weight (I had), 2. You still are attractive to me (I can't argue this although I tried), 3. I want you to lose weight so we can do the things we used to."

Lets take a look at the first one. I had gained weight and was continuing to gain at that point. When I asked him if I was fat the truth was that I was (at 180 lbs) and he wasn't going to lie to me. He didn't call me fat he said I had gained weight. It was true! The truth not only hurt but it fed my insecurity and after that answer I only heard the lies I was telling myself. They included, you're fat, that makes you ugly, that means you aren't attractive anymore, that means he doesn't like you and you already don't like yourself?! What a viscous cycle.

Men can separate things, categorize them and not let the one affect the other. For women it's the opposite, everything is connected and in most cases cannot or will not be separated. So when Raymond said that I had gained weight, I could still be attractive to him even though for me it was impossible to believe because in my head weight gain meant unattractive and there wasn't any other outcome. 

Now for all the ladies out there who are plus size, in the middle or larger I'M NOT BASHING YOU! I have been raised in a house where gaining weight was the worst thing that could happen to you. It created an mentality that if I gained weight (me, Laura Oosterom) then I was unattractive. However I have been friends and am friends with many plus sized girls and women and they are so beautiful in my eyes. They're sexy and voluptuous and I can't stop telling them how pretty or beautiful they are, how lucky some man will be to marry them one day and I mean it with all my heart. But for myself personally when it came to weight gain I couldn't get past how I had been raised to think about it.

It wasn't just the weight gain! It was so much more, for myself I became lethargic, I had no energy, I was sad, depressed, didn't want to cook, clean, get off the couch, go anywhere, be seen etc. As you can read, I wasn't a very fun, interactive wife, friend, sister or daughter. I was super insecure and trying to disappear. Part of the problem was that I didn't believe I was beautiful anymore and another part was that I thought I was stuck and growing. I didn't believe I could lose weight or change my future in this aspect and it was killing me. 

The second thing my husband would say was "You are still attractive to me" and he meant it. I couldn't or wouldn't hear him but he said it and meant it. Now something that I wish he had known to do was come to me and tell me how beautiful I was, how attractive I had become or how sexy I was to him. However as a cornered man he wasn't coming near the subject. And the truth for us as a couple is that he does prefer a more athletic build which is what I was before we got married and for at least the first year after. He fell in love with my athletic self and all of the activities we did together but with the new overweight version of me all of my joy and adventurous spirit and athletics disappeared. I fully believe that if I was my joyful, spontaneous, athletic self at 180 pounds he wouldn't have cared. 

The third thing he said was that yes he did think I should lose weight. It was a hard pill to swallow but it was sage advice as well. All he knew was that when I weighed less I was happy, energetic, up for adventures and challenges. He told me that he wanted those characteristics back. "I want my happy Laura back" he would say. He thought that losing weight and spending more time with God would do that for me. He was right. 

One other thing I will mention is that my husband also doesn't want me getting too skinny. He doesn't want a stick, he isn't some sicko that is looking for a magazine add in his wife. He just wants me. Some of you will read this and say "But you are you at 180 lbs and you are you at 140 lbs." That's true and it's not. I wrote in a previous blog that I didn't feel like myself, like I had been lost somewhere along the way. The truth was that at that heavier weight I wasn't me, I wasn't able to do the things I desire as Laura Oosterom. I have my own goals and dreams because I'm me (just as you have your own which makes you, you). I couldn't be who I want to be at that weight. I love being strong and being able to run, I like to cook and clean and go after crazy wild dreams that take a lot of energy and hard work. I thrive on being as strong as the boys or being able to compete with the work ethic being put out there. At 180 lbs I can't . 

So here's my challenge to you, LISTEN, step outside the moment, look at the big picture. If someone is asking you to be who you are called to be because they love you and they want you back then don't be offended. Don't corner the ones you love with the scary questions that have no positive outcome. Don't go looking for a screaming match or to feed your insecurity and self loathing. Either LOVE who you are and stay that way fully embracing the new you or love who you are now and start to change into the person you desire to be. Lose the weight or keep it, just make sure you are being faithful to yourself and know that you are beautiful! 

But be healthy! Too much weight will give health problems that nobody needs to experience or go through.

Ps. If someone is being a bully and calling you fat that's not okay. Tell somebody who loves you and cares for you and get that situation sorted out.

STEAK, ASPARAGUS AND CESAR SALAD - Anybody want to lose 34 pounds with me?!

Tonight for Dinner I Had...

So tonight for dinner I made and ate a large cesar salad with delicious creamy dressing (made from scratch), steak, fried onions, pan fried asparagus in butter and garlic. For dessert I ate apple slices dipped in peanut butter and for my drink I stuck to water as I had already had a glass of orange juice during the cooking process. 

I have lost a total of 34 pounds (I am down to 146 pounds as of this week) and it has been 100% to diet. In my diet I do not eat sugar, grains, starch or dairy (although I have brought cream back with my coffee - it's my only exception). Because of the weight loss I have much more energy and so for the past few weeks my husband and I have done one fun outing every Saturday whether it be a hike, snow shoeing and today was ice skating. I lasted for an hour and fifteen minutes before I decided my socks were digging too deep into my skin due to rental skates. It was so much fun!

Due to my Mary Kay skin regime I have a clear face and that has been such a bonus to my weight loss. I feel so confident, joyful, energetic and I feel... Like myself again. For a couple of years I had lost myself. I gained 40+ pounds which changed so much more than my appearance. My energy flagged, my personality altered, I was sad and depressed, lethargic and a far cry from the happy, bouncing, beautiful woman my husband told me he had married. 

I've been on this journey since November 2012 which makes it 5 months ago that I gave all my food away and never looked back. It has changed my life and the life of my husband. He has been struggling health wise lately but he has kept on his weight and the relapse has looked different. He feels hopeful which is so important!

Here is a snap shot of tonights dinner that my husband took today. 

If we can do it, so can you, I believe it.

33 Pounds Lost and The Confidence to Start a Business!

Mary Kay and Me!

Today is March 30, 2013 and I weighed myself as I do on Saturday's and was surprised and happy to see that I am down 2 more pounds and now weigh 147.6 lbs.

Last night I got down on the floor before bed and did 22 push ups (full body, in a row) and today I'm going snow shoeing with the love of my life.

Before losing 33 pounds those things weren't possible. I was too heavy for more than 3-5 push ups, I was too tired and lethargic to even think about hiking or snowshoeing. The thought of those activities stressed me out and caused anxiety to creep in and I wouldn't be able to breath. This cut out the possibility of being active and doing things I had previously loved.

I'm still working towards my goal of being 130 lbs by the end and the end is in sight for sure. Only 17 lbs to go and now I have other goals as well. I want to be able to pump out 100 full body push ups in a row, I want to be able to do a 3 minute wall sit and a 5 minute plank. I want to be able to run AND jump again higher and faster, longer and with controlled breathing! I want to be able to do 25-50 pull ups and be flexible again (I have started stretching). I want to be healthy and fit, ready for anything whether it be a walk with friends or a 50 km bike ride or an over night hiking trip with full on gear or a half marathon.

I want to be able to do these things so that I can be strong and agile now, when I have children and as I get old. The grandparent figures in my life were in shape, could swim, hike, cook, bake, build, boat, garden, they were involved in their respective communities, traveled, loved, took chances and lived life. I don't want to find myself a couch potato when I'm 45 or 50 just because I was lazy and didn't take the time to develop my body or control my eating or get involved in the world around me. I want to live life for myself, not through my tv or movies. I want to be an active part of the people in my community, church, neighborhood and family.

These things are important, these things are real.

I also have just started the exciting adventure of becoming a business owner. I have started my own company with Mary Kay cosmetics and am the new Richmond BC consultant! I have been looking into various home owned businesses for a while now and decided to choose Mary Kay for a number of different but positive reasons.

Yes is was a substantial investment, yes it's taken commitment, but what doesn't that's worth anything. My husband is in full support of this choice and I can't wait to get started. My shipment comes in the second week of April and I will be booking parties and welcoming people into my home right away.

I feel so blessed to have been able to take this opportunity and also to have the confidence to do it. I remember being a teenager who had to sell coupon books for her school but couldn't muster up the courage to meet new people and find who needed and wanted the books. I feel as I've grown older I have gained a confidence that has allowed me to love and care for those around me. I'm not being busy with my insecurities or wondering what others think, I'm trying to bless and encourage those I come in contact with.

For me, I think the outside should reflect the inside. If you take care of yourself (get a hair cut once and awhile, dress comfortably but also nicely, put on some make up, exercise, make healthy food choices etc) it shows and others are attracted to that. When people are cared for they can care for others around them.

Mary Kay is a wonderful chance for me to take care of my family (my husband is quitting his job in September and attending university) and still be able to bless others even though we are going down to one income. This is HUGE for me and I was really saddened by the thought of not having enough to support ourselves which would mean we couldn't support the different charities and children that we are invested in. This is my chance to teach others how to take care of their skin (which we all have) and how to be more confident in themselves which is also very important to me.

Welcome on my journey as a Mary Kay consultant! I'm very excited about it and will be sharing my journey of health, exercise and now Mary Kay with you as you read along with my writing.

Thank You for any prayers and all of your support!
Laura O

I'VE LOST .... 28 POUNDS IN 14 WEEKS!

Braces and the Flu are Contributing Factors for Today's Weigh In

So for the past 2 weeks I have been living off shakes. Not by purely by choice but because I got braces and with that came spacers. Spacers are little white bumps of hard glue or cement that keep any of my molars from touching. Their purpose is to keep my top front teeth from biting the bottom front brackets off when I chew due to my large over bight. However, because of how high the spacers are, I cannot chew anything as none of my teeth touch each other. I've tried, but it consists of me swallowing whole foods which is to say the least, unpleasant.

I have a shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch and lots of water during the day. Sometimes I have a shake for a snack as well but my appetite has gone down since this whole spacers fiasco. My biggest concern is that the spacers won't be able to come off at the end of the 4 weeks if my teeth haven't shifted enough and I'll be stuck with not eating for even longer!

I also just finished a terrible bout of the flu which only lasted 24 hours but where I couldn't move or drink without vomiting. It was so sad. 

The reason I told you those 2 things is that they are small but definitely contributing factors. I lost another 5 pounds this week and at this point in the game a person usually loses 1 - 2 pounds per week as I had been doing up until this week. 

My goal weight to reach on this journey of learning to eat right, exercise and get healthy is 130 pounds. I have lost a total of 28 pounds and 14 weeks ago I was 180 pounds. I'm currently weighing in at 152 pounds and I'm so proud of my bodies hard work. 

For exercise I have been doing push ups (I'm up to 20 full body push ups in a row), sit ups, squats (with a weight) and my cardio consists of walks. Nothing too fancy or strenuous, but right now with my food limitations I can't afford to push myself. 

I'm really excited to be weighing in at 152 pounds in such a short time! I can't believe my body has done this all by itself and that by eating the proper foods my body knows what weight it needs and what is excess. 

I'm really excited to continue eating and living the way I want (I still enjoy home made cookies and candies according to the SCD recipes) and having all this extra energy that comes naturally from not carrying around an extra 28 pounds on my body!

So whether you've lost zero pounds because you're just starting, one pound or hundreds of pounds CONGRATULATIONS! Keep up the great work of balancing, eating right, enjoying treats here and there and exercising your way to a healthier, happier, more energetic you! 

BEFORE and AFTER

These weight loss changes are 100% due to changing what I eat. I have not worked out  during the course of these 5 months. 

So many of you have asked for the BEFORE and AFTER photos. This decision was a difficult one as growing up in my household was not one for the faint of heart for many reasons, one of them being weight. My mother has struggled with an eating disorder since she was 11 years old and things like that cannot help themselves but must spread to the other members of the family as well. My parents had 4 daughters and 1 son and all of us are very conscious of our appearance and weight. 

I was married in October 2010 to a wonderful man and over the next 2 years the demons of my past burst their way into our marriage and caused a lot of confusion, chaos, depression, anger, frustration, sadness and loss. I gained 50 pounds as lethargy and depression took over and eventually exhaustion as I poured myself into my work. 

Please understand I'm not making any excuses. I just want you to know that there are reasons for someone to go from a seemingly fit, healthy lifestyle to just "letting myself go" without so much as a whisper of a fight. It was the way I coped, pushed my husband away and thought I should be treated. 

I also want to add that my husband never gave up on me and has continued to pursue me throughout all of this. It hasn't been easy and nobody is perfect. However both of us have continuously been working on ourselves and our marriage and ARE more in love today, stronger and committed than we were in our first and even second year. Marriage is hard, but worth each moment, and an opportunity to grow, change and heal, love, accept and move on (and so much more). 

So here I am, before and in progress. I cary my goal picture around in my wallet so that I can see my potential and stay away from temptation. I hope it's inspiring and gives you the motivation to keep working toward your goals and to begin healing and to love yourself and to take care of yourself.

Thanks, 
I believe you can do it too! 
LAURA

@ 180 lbs 

@ 143 lbs

THESE PICTURES ARE NOT FOR PUBLICATION OF ANY SORT. THEY ARE NOT TO BE USED FOR ADDS OR TO BE PUBLISHED ANYWHERE ONLINE, PRINTED OUT OR PASSED AROUND. THESE ARE MY PICTURES AND ANY MISUSE OF THEM IS AN ILLEGAL ACT. THANK YOU FOR RESPECTING MY RIGHTS TO MY PICTURES AND PRIVACY. I HOPE THEY INSPIRE AND ENCOURAGE YOU.